Although I grew up going to church and believing in God, it wasn’t until my late 30’s that I finally understood what it meant to fall into the arms of a loving Savior—to believe that there was not only a God who existed, but that He wanted a relationship with me.
Making the decision to let Jesus lead my life would be one of many surrenders that would take place in my life over the next several years. My path to following Christ and living for Him was, for me, “the road less traveled,” and was far from easy.
As I learned more about who God is and what He has done by reading the Bible and attending studies with other women, I realized that for much of my life, I had been making decisions that were not pleasing to Him—decisions to please others or myself, but definitely not Him. My insecurities, anxieties, fears, impulsiveness, selfishness, and comparisons to others had to go.
It has been both a journey and a desire to know more about God and His life here on earth. To be able to love, forgive, and accept myself and others has shown me what it might look like to be more like Him.
As my need to surpass the expectations of others began to diminish (and as gossiping and other bad habits began to fade), room was made for God to transform me. The relationships in my life were certainly an area that needed a lot of help. For instance, I realized that if I wanted a “better than average” marriage, I needed to allow God access to that relationship. If I wanted to stop being fearful that something terrible was going to happen to my children, I needed to surrender them to Him. If I wanted Godly friendships, some of my current habits with friends were going to have to change. Was it easy? Not in the least. Was it worth it? Absolutely.
As time moves forward, I fall more in love with Jesus everyday. I yearn for my time to sit quietly in the chair in the corner of my room with my now-tattered Bible, journal, and box of tissues. God isn’t finished with me yet, and I am eternally grateful for the joy and hope that Jesus has given me.
His Joy and Hope are for me—if I only seek His face.