I am striving in all directions searching for what I do not find;
Seeking things that will not satisfy!
Father, help me to say yes to Your plan for my life,
that I might find peace and joy as I surrender
to the calling You have placed upon my life.
Series Focus: “Resurrecting Hope in the Midst of Life’s Storms”
What do you want to be when you grow up? My answer was always the same: I want to be a veterinarian. From dogs to horses – and everything in between – they were my passion, and someday I would save them all. It wasn’t until I was enrolled in my first Pre-Vet animal science class that I quickly realized I was not cut out for the profession and I opted out of veterinary medicine. The quest for a new path began.
I wish I could tell you I knelt down and prayed. That I asked God what He wanted for my life. But this was before I was following Jesus, let alone asking Him for direction. Working hard, I finished college with a degree in Psychology and Speech Communication. I was ready to tackle the world and have a smooth ride. But the road I took was a bit bumpier than expected.
Even though I was a college graduate, married, and grateful to be a stay-at-home mom, I listened to the voice that said, “You aren’t doing enough.” I found myself yearning to receive the “real” job. You know, the one that would make me feel complete. The career that would meet the expectations of those around me and tell the world I was significant. Being a mom was such a sweet blessing so why wasn’t I content? I buried myself in unrealistic expectations that were choking me to death.
I began taking part-time jobs at night here and there, selling this or that hoping to fill the empty space I had inside. Meanwhile, my marriage suffered on the back burner, my attention was split between too many commitments and the more I strived to be in control the more depleted I felt. This was not the life I had pictured, but it was the one I created. Maybe you are living a life you didn’t expect. Going through the motions of keeping your head above water. Asking yourself, “Is life supposed to be this way?” Why is it so difficult to just be happy? I needed a divine intervention…and that is exactly what I got.
In a church service nearly 15 years ago, you might say God interrupted my plan with His purpose and I began a real relationship with Jesus Christ. With my heart pounding and head spinning I honestly did not know what was going to happen next. I would say my faith lay dormant for about 3 years, (mostly because I didn’t want to tell anyone). But God was not dormant. He was preparing a way for my life to reflect Him. His timing is always right. I didn’t know I was ready but He did.
Maybe He is trying to do the same thing for you. Have you experienced this? A moment when you knew something different was about to happen? Maybe for the first time in your life you might be okay letting go of control? But we don’t just go with it at first do we? We argue with Him. We say things like: Do you know who I am? Don’t you see all my mistakes and my weaknesses? How in the world would I possibly be able to do what You have planned for me? You’ve got the wrong woman! ? It is time to realize that our limitations are smaller than God’s ability to do something great in our lives!
When God finds favor on you it isn’t about you…it’s about Him. He wants you to trust Him when He calls you so that He can use you in this broken and lost world. The favor of God does come with a price. Your life will be interrupted. You have to decide if your hope in Him is strong enough to beat down the lies you will be battling. You may lose favor with men as you seek to please the Lord. This is almost a guarantee. I realize that isn’t sweetening this deal for most of you. I promise your reward will be great. It will come in the form of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. You will not need to be in control or have all the answers!
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)
that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:17)
Not every call is about vocational ministry. For me, it was. I accepted His call reluctantly, but God’s unwavering love and faithfulness made it easy for me to embrace it in order to be completely available for His use. Your calling may be different. Whatever He is asking…be willing to pray and receive it. His word says that He will be faithful to complete it. That is a promise I am willing to hold on to.
Holding Fast to Hope,
Jen
Scripture References: Philippians 1:6; Galatians 5:22-23; 2 Timothy 3:17
