Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord.
Each morning I bring my requests to You and wait expectantly.
Psalm 5:3 (NLT)
Series: “Piece by Piece”
On my knees again. Begging instead of praising. Pleading instead of patiently waiting. Allowing anxious thoughts to crowd out the peace and trust I have in You, Lord. Surrendering once again something I thought I had finally given to You permanently. Then after the tears fall, I feel Your loving kindness whisper to me ever so softly—”I’ve got this daughter, so release your grip.”
Knowing God has a plan for my life brings me immense joy and great struggle. I am a planner, and I like to know what’s coming in advance. I like to choose the timing and most often I prefer to choose the outcome. In the times I can’t operate from a place of “knowing,” I get uncomfortable and begin tightening my grasp. Have you ever felt this way? As your world seems to spin, do you hold tighter to what you think you can control? What if you let go of the reins? Let’s look at a precious woman in scripture who did this, and peace washed over her, even in her uncertainty. Open your Bible to the book of 1 Samuel to meet her.
Elkanah had two wives, Hannah and Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah did not. (1 Samuel 1:2 NLT)
Hannah, a beloved wife, and faithful servant of God, had a burden weighing upon her. She could not conceive a child. God had closed her womb, scripture tells us. This was devastating to her and made her a target of ridicule by Peninnah. This cruelness she felt was more than Hannah could bear.
Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” (1 Samuel 1:6-8 NIV)
Her husband reassured her of his deep love for her, but her longing led her to her knees. Recorded in 1 Samuel 1:10-18, is her appeal.
In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.” As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.” “Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.” Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.” She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.
In this moment, God did not promise Hannah a child. She laid her request before the Lord and found peace in His presence. She did not know God would open her womb, remembering her as she had prayed. With her sorrow lifted, she went her way. Even though she could only see part of her story, she moved forward in peace.
God’s love for us is so great, we can also walk forward in our desperate places. But don’t skip the most important step—sitting in His presence! Be still and allow yourself the space to release your pain, the depth of your desires, the unmet expectations, and your raw emotions. God is good and He will respond with comfort and peace as you loosen your grip. He knows your name. He waits for you to ask, seek, and knock. There is no limit to His love, and He will always give you His best yes. Sometimes the best yes will look like a no from our vantage point, but a closer look may reveal a more beautiful picture.
Today, we pray Romans 15:13 for you:
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Holding Fast to Hope,
Jen
Scripture references: Psalm 5:3; 1 Samuel 1: 1-28; Matthew 7:7; Isaiah 43:1; Romans 15:13; 1 John 4:7-12